Since the dawn of mankind, the word “family” has carried with it a generally agreed-upon meaning. All families begin with the union of two persons, male and female, to create new lives.
As time has gone by, families have traditionally consisted of two parents: a mother and a father, as well as perhaps 2-4 children. Families have not changed much, but something else has: that other word, “tradition.”
Today, we are rapidly becoming known as the “hook-up generation,” in which so many of us have little to no desire to actually form relationships with other people, but rather wish to encounter pleasure at its most basic, carnal level. As a college student, I see this as being especially prevalent. People think: “You know, I’m a student here, I don’t need to be looking for a husband/wife at this point in my life. I just want to hook up.”
In the heat of the moment, whether it be a brief make-out session on the dance floor, or a casual, sexual relationship with a peer, the consequences may not seem to present themselves immediately. We look to the here and now, rather than what could happen further down the road. This begs the question: are there any downsides to leading such a cavalier social life?
Only a complete moron would say, “No.”
According to the Center for Disease Control, approximately 270,000 babies were born to unmarried, teenage women in the last year, meaning around 1/50 women in the age group of 15-19 conceived a child. A human life.
That’s quite a consequence right there. Is the average college student prepared to add childcare into the list of daily activities, along with calculus, chemistry, a job, and a massive social calendar? This chance, along with the possibility of contracting STDs are serious considerations to be taken, that many do not even consider prior to engaging in such activity.
While there can certainly be many tangible results of promiscuity, perhaps the most catastrophic consequences are the emotional ones. In an age where the idea of real relationships seems to have gone out the window, and lust mixed in with a large amount of selfishness seems to dominate the “dating” scene, it isn’t surprising at just how many people suffer from depression, anxiety, distrustfulness, severe stress, etc.
So, the next question this begs is: where does this new attitude come from?
Certainly, we as young adults are not to receive all the blame. Instead, one must simply look at the sources people use to create relationships nowadays.
Tinder is an application that allows people to keep or delete a person based solely on their profile picture. It is widely known that this program is meant predominately for joining people interested in quick and casual sex. eHarmony, Match.com, and others are all online dating sites, in which there is no initial face-to-face introduction.
Thirdly, and one of my favorites, is Twitter. While this is a social media site, a trend has begun within the last year or so in which users meet other people by “sliding into the DMs.” And when the person they message responds, they view themselves as successful. Common themes are shared by these sources: no in-person interaction is required, and multiple people are messaged or contacted with interest from one person.
The other day I saw a commercial for Extra gum, in which a fictitious couple is seen throughout their relationship, getting to know each other, kissing for the first time, dating and eventually getting married. They give each other pieces of gum all the time, and at the end of the commercial, the man uses all his gum wrappers to tell a story of their love, culminating in him asking her to be his wife. Forget about the gum and the cleverness of his proposal. What I noticed, above all else, was the fact that he only courted one woman. And she only engaged with one man.
Surely, they had other friends. But they weren’t off “sliding into the DM’s,” meeting users on Tinder, or sending messages to other users on their eHarmony accounts. They created a relationship with each other, built it on genuine emotion, and eventually fell in love.
Where has this gone? Is love a seemingly lost art?
The cynics of our generation might say yes.
But I say there is still hope. We, as whole, must accept the fact that there are two forms of happiness: temporary and lasting.
When we solely look for happiness in temporary outlets, it can be no surprise that we do not remain happy, if we ever are at all. We must change our habits, change the way we view each other, and, most importantly, change the way we view ourselves.
Are we merely a piece of meat to be shared among a pack of wild dogs? Certainly not, and neither is anyone else. In a society that tells us to get “more, more, more,” realize that, in actuality, one special person can be all we ever need.
