After having lived in Oxford for 23 years, I have unfortunately come to unwillingly accept the driving hazards unique to home. Years of studying have magnified the subtleties of these problems. I propose that Oxford residents as well as Ole Miss students, faculty and staff consider these terms when driving.
The Square Abusers: New students and tourists are helpless when it comes to the rules of driving on the Square. They neither yield nor stop when directed and may circle multiple times. If you are one of these people, take note. The very inside circle lane has the right of way, the next square lane yields only to the inside circle and the traffic entering the Square yields to both square and circle lanes. The other option for the Square abusers is to avoid entering the Square.
Sorority Sidestepping: Named for the infamous complication of crossing Sorority Row, sidestepping occurs when a student jaywalks across the street in such a way that stops the flow of traffic for as long as possible. The diagonal path of motion is almost parallel to the actual road, but does end on the other side of the road. This move is rarely performed near a crosswalk.
Rubber Body Armor: This is the imaginary armor worn by many street-crossers on and off campus to guard against oncoming traffic. The main hazards are the speed and uncertainty with which they choose to scamper in front of you, and said scampering can be performed with or without a cell phone.
The Rich Witch: Witches (male and female) will blow through stop signs, speed and, regardless of their hangtags, park in your spot. I assume they are extremely wealthy because of the lack of concern for the numerous tickets they accumulate.
Come-Get-Me Lights: Many students have decided that they are allowed to stop in the middle of the road and run into a building as long as they have their hazard lights on. As parking enforcers will tell you, these lights are actually very useful. They scream, “Come get me.” You are helping them, not protecting yourself.
Freshman Peek-a-boo: There is absolutely no way to know when these people will cross the street. The offender will take a few steps on the crosswalk, stop, look at the car, step back, wave the car through, run halfway across the street, stop and finally cross.
Bicycle Entitlement: I love bike riding. I love the fact that people are environmentally friendly and economical, but we all know the bad ones. These are friends who preach about sharing the road and yet manage to avoid following any of its rules. They will blow through stop signs, cut you off and almost kill you while you’re walking. For people who suffer because of these entitled cyclists, I suggest a stick in the spokes.
If you do not fit in any of these categories, I thank you! You are a good person and I encourage you to adopt these terms as a way to vent frustrations about the Oxford driving hazards. For people on this list, please reference the Park and Ride video starring Dr. Donald Cole.
Katie Williamson is a senior print journalism and fine arts double major from Oxford.
