Close your eyes, all of you. We’re going to do a little exercise, okay?
Imagine yourself holding a knife. A stainless steel kitchen knife. Now, what I want you to do is repeatedly stab yourself with it. And maybe you could stab it in a pattern where it looks like you’re spelling “ugly.”
Phew. I know that must hurt.
Now, I want you to imagine another person coming in holding a knife of her own, and she begins stabbing you with it, spelling out “ugly.” You didn’t ask for this, but she’s there. And while she takes part in your self-inflicted bloodbath, she says to you, “You need this! I’m here to help you!”
Nicole Arbour, or as I like to call her, the Kroger-brand Jenna Marbles, caused quite a stir on the interwebs with her video titled “Dear Fat People.” In the video, she discusses obesity and tells horror stories about how she had to deal with having someone’s fat sit in her lap while she was on a plane and blah, blah, blah. Long story short, this walking Dr. Thunder is the worst person I have ever had the displeasure to have slither onto my monitor.
Before I get into why Miss Arbour is super wrong, I want to address that, yes, she has every right to say whatever she wants about fat people. And as much of a jerk as Nicole is, she did make a valid point. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that if your body is too big for your knees to handle, perhaps you should cut down on the Cokes. Yes, you can be so fat that your health can be greatly affected. And when your doctor tells you that your heart looks like it’s going to throw in the towel, he’s not fat-shaming you. All of this is true. But then she gets into how she thinks fat-shaming isn’t real and how this is the best approach to making people lose weight. Miss Arbour and people like her need to understand that is completely incorrect.
I don’t believe that shaming someone for being fat has any benefit. All it would do is worsen the problem. Let’s take me for instance. I admit, I am a pretty chunky lady who would probably be the least popular item on the potential ‘bae’ menu, but do I enjoy being this large and not in charge? Absolutely not. Every time I walk in front of a mirror, my bloated stomach drops. I feel ugly. I start telling myself how ugly I am. Then I get so distressed, I start gnawing on pancakes to ease the hurt. It is a vicious cycle. I’m already shaming myself, and I don’t need people like Nicole to add on to it. What’s needed is motivation, not coddling. Not, “Oh, you’re beautiful and healthy just the way you are, and you can eat all the Funyuns and Chick-fil-A sandwiches you want and still be of optimal health.” And certainly not, “You are a fat piece of sh*t who sweats Crisco, and you’re going to die at the ripe old age of thirty-five.”
What also adds to the fire a lot of people are feeling is that this horrid message is coming from someone who would be considered fit. Confidence and happiness seem to emanate from her while the audience her video is addressed to might feel trapped in this eternal quagmire of misery and hopelessness. There is no need for her to dump all this hot garbage juice on them. I’m sure a lot of them are aware of where they are, and I highly doubt they enjoy it.
What I wish Nicole Arbour would have done is use her pretty sizable platform to motivate her audience, instead of repeatedly stabbing them while they’re already stabbing themselves. But since she didn’t do that, let me do it:
First, I want you to make this important distinction: you’re not fat, you have fat. What I mean is that you don’t have to be stuck here. You are absolutely capable of working your way to something better. I know it won’t be easy, but trust me, it will be absolutely worth it once you get to your finish line. Yes, I know, eat right, move more might be easier said than done, but once you do it, you will flourish as you make the jump from Cheetos to cherry tomatoes. I believe in you. As the great Shia LaBeouf once said, “JUST DO IT.”
There. Was that so hard, Nicole? Your attempt at edge was cringeworthy, but maybe I learned something. Now, if y’all will excuse me, I’m going to continue #OperationGetChose and head onto this elliptical so I can get this peach right.
