As I am growing into my adulthood and being sucked into all of the engagements on my Facebook news feed, I cannot help but ask myself, Summer, why are you single?
My first thoughts were the external reasons.
Summer, you’re not pretty enough.
Summer, you’re not thin enough.
Summer, you don’t dress nice enough.
I discovered that it isn’t the external reasons the more that I thought. It’s the internal reasons. So, you might ask, Summer, exactly why are you single? Well‚
1. I’m single because I do not know God’s love.
I’m not ashamed to say that because it is true and I am guilty. I’ve strayed away from my relationship with Him. I focus on earthly pleasures and not on serving Him and His divine love. God is love. 1 John 4:8 teaches us this. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.The question I have to ask myself is, How can I love someone else when I do not truly know love? To know, in this context, isn’t to recognize something. It’s to understand. It’s to believe. It’s to practice. It’s to fulfill. I cannot honestly say that I know God’s love, but I am working, I’m praying and I am begging to know His love because I am without a doubt empty without it. Until I know God’s love, I won’t know how to truly love someone else.
2. I’m single because I don’t know who I truly am.
I struggle with self-discovery every day. I’m aware that I won’t always love the person I see in the mirror and that I will be ashamed of some of the decisions that I make. I desire to know‚ actually know‚ who I am. I’d like to think I serve an amazing God, I am surrounded by beautiful family and friends that will aid in my self-discovery. When I truly know myself, I will be able to truly know someone else and love for him in a way I would have never before. When I truly know myself, I will know the true value of another human being. When I truly know myself, I will be able to love and be loved.
3. I’m single because I am too busy and don’t always have time for myself
Who ever said relationships were easy lied. Relationships can be physically and emotionally exhausting, especially at the beginning stages when connecting and figuring out the kinks are imperative before the establishment of an emotionally involved relationship. I am way too involved with academics, organizations and extracurricular activities. I have no idea how I could have a successful relationship when I cannot even make time for myself. I made a promise to myself that I wanted to be the best version of myself for my man. I want to be able to give him all that I can, including my time. No one deserves to be in a commitment when those promises aren’t fulfilled or at least attempted.
So there. That’s why I’m single. Maybe there are other reasons, but those are the three that I value the most in a relationship: knowing God, knowing myself and being able to give all of myself to my partner.
To my future man, wherever you are, I cannot wait to know you.
Summer Wigley is a psychology major from Ridgeland.
