Quick disclaimer: This article is actually not about unicorns. Sorry.
This piece is about sexuality — more specifically, bisexuality and its existence. There seem to be some ridiculous views surrounding the topic, the most ridiculous one being that bisexual people do not exist.
In a way, I’m humored because that means that I’ve been granted mythical creature status. I feel that I’m somewhere between the centaurs and unicorns. But then I remember that many people cannot wrap their heads around the concept of a single person being attracted to two sexes. A man blasts into space to walk on the moon, and people can’t fathom that someone liking both men and women is actually a thing.
I’ve heard statements like: “You’re actually just gay, and you don’t want to admit it,” because if I date a woman then I absolutely must be a lesbian, and, “You’re just straight and you date girls for attention,” because if I date men then I’m straight. When you fall outside of a realm that people understand, they tend to make assumptions so that they are more comfortable with the confusion of your existence.
In both straight and gay communities, negative connotations associated with being bisexual abound. I recently read an article about the struggles of bisexual people, and a few words tossed around were “greedy,” “liar,” “confused” and “phase.” All of these words have been directed at me at some time or another in regard to my sexuality.
This belief that bisexual people are somehow greedy for dating both men and women is especially egregious. Sure, there are bisexual people in polyamorous relationships, and that’s OK. Bisexual people, however, are capable of monogamy.
I’m not saying that bisexuals are without flaw and will not cheat or engage in “greedy behavior.” I’m saying that anyone, regardless of their sexuality, could do that. Also, there seems to be a generalization that all bisexual people, especially men, only identify as bisexual because they are afraid to come out as “fully” gay. I’ve heard that women can be bisexual and men cannot. All of these arguments I’ve heard for years now, and I’ve never recognized an ounce of logic in any of the statements.
Surprisingly, this hurtful language doesn’t only come from heterosexual people, but from the LG portion of the LGBTQ community.
Sure, some people come out as bisexual before they come out as gay or lesbian, and that’s OK. It’s all about what you’re comfortable with. The belief that a man cannot be attracted to both men and women, however, is a very erasing statement, perhaps rooted in what I believe to be symptoms of patriarchy and what it means to “really be a man.” Believing such statements allows for the erasure of someone’s identity which can in turn be quite harmful.
Bisexual people aren’t a hegemony of individuals any more sexually confused than the next person. Maybe some are, and that’s OK, too — but maybe consider that navigating sexuality can be extremely confusing, especially when there are people who do not share your experiences or feelings telling you what you are and what you cannot be.
People hear the word bisexual and immediately don’t take it seriously. In my experiences, I’ve heard it was a phase, and if it’s a phase, well, I’ve been in a phase for half of my life. But, as Tumblr user dajo42 explains:
“The moon has phases but it’s still literally always the moon. Just because the moon’s doing something different today doesn’t mean it was lying about being the moon yesterday.”
Justina Greer is a junior political science major from Terry.
