Well ghouls and goblins, it’s time for Halloween, a holiday in which the debauchery is only matched by Mardi Gras. As you are gearing up to ringing in All Hallows’ Eve with copious amounts of candy, alcohol (if you are of age, of course) and the like, let us take a brief pause and put some thought into what we will be wearing this evening.
When you go back to the beginnings of modern Halloween, it looks quite a bit different than Halloween now. If you have not seen pictures of Halloween costumes from the early 20th century, I urge you to look them up. Be warned, you might want to have all your lights on when you do so because they are absolutely terrifying.
The point of Halloween, at least as indicated in photographs, was to dress as something ghoulish, sinister – unnatural. Now it is about how to make pizza look sexy, which I guess is about as unnatural as you can get. Perhaps I’m getting older and slowly turning into my parents, but I feel that I must absolutely address the Halloween hemlines.
I remember the first, and last, time I attempted to wear a “sexy” Halloween costume. I was a junior in high school, you know the age when you are an adult and your parents are only trying to ruin your lives, and I had just gotten over a bad case of the flu and was down a few pounds and was feeling extra confident. When I walked out in the living room in my flight attendant costume was, I believe, the exact moment my dad’s hair turned white.
Once he collected himself, likely having to count to 1000 in his head, he asked if I had accidentally put on “Taylor’s costume.” Taylor is my cousin who is nine years younger than me, and asking if I was wearing her clothes was my dad’s subtle way of saying to change immediately because something was too short, tight, low cut or all of the above. As I’ve learned, with most things, Dad was right.
The past few home games, I’ve found myself sitting close to the Walk of Champions with my chair facing out from my tailgate to get a better people-watching viewpoint. Over and over again, I found myself saying, “They must have accidentally put on Taylor’s clothes,” in my head. The hemlines are non-existent! Apparently wearing a slip when something fits a little tight or is a little see-through is a thing of the past as well. If gameday is this scandalous, I shudder to think what Halloween is going to be like.
Ladies, please cover up. It will save you from having to constantly pull your shirt down throughout the night. It will save you from unflattering photographs the next day. Bonus, you’ll be able to sit down with ease! It will, hopefully, prevent you from attracting the wrong kind of attention. You won’t look back embarrassed, or worse you won’t have future employers look back and wonder who they hired. More is more come Halloween, just trust me. If all this doesn’t convince you to have some decorum, just remember what we all know to be true deep down: Dad is always right.
Anna Rush is a law student from Hattiesburg. She graduated from Mississippi State University in 2011.
