Dear Editor,
Let me begin by saying that this is not a piece where I pick a side and try to force my opinion upon anyone. Rather, this is a piece where I ask you to question your beliefs, to explore your motives and to make an impact on the community around you.
I am a firm believer that it is not my place to judge someone’s beliefs or experiences — I am neither a judge nor the Heavenly Judge. Each one of us comes from a different background and will therefore have different life experiences to shape our views of the world around us. What all of us have in common, however, is that we can and should take the opportunity to learn from others. Discrimination and closed-mindedness are bred in defensiveness, misunderstanding and a stubbornness that selfishly proclaims our way to be the only way. I challenge you to go beyond that today.
Find someone unlike yourself and have an open dialogue. Check your emotions at the door, no matter how passionately you may feel about the topic. Ask that person why he believes what he believes and what has led him to that conclusion; then politely ask if you can share your experiences in return. Even if you do not agree with the person’s beliefs, this gives you an opportunity to express rationally your own thoughts and perspectives. When you create an open dialogue, you learn, you grow and you make an impact on everyone around you.
The problems arise when our motives are less than pure. We all have things about which we are truly passionate, and it can be difficult to leave our emotions behind when we face a situation that we find truly unjust. Do it anyway. If you truly care about the cause at hand, you should realize that inviting hostility into your discussion also invites resentment and hatred. If your motive is truly to change someone’s perspective, to change the way they respond to a situation, then you must control your temper. Fueling your desire for change with hatred or sensationalism may lead to a temporary change, but when change is forced upon someone, it cannot continue on its own or genuinely succeed because the person has never been given the foundation to pursue that change.
I think the best example of this is interacting with someone who is trying to lose weight. You can take away the pastas and the desserts, and that person will temporarily lose weight, but if he or she is never taught why it is important to be healthy or how to create food regulation in his life, the change will not last. Shaming someone does not work either, as the targeted person becomes hostile and unwilling to interact with his attacker. Furthermore, it causes the person to ignore his progress and sink into his old habits with the thought of “it’s expected of me, so I might as well do what I want.” Change begins with the mind, not with someone holding your feet to the fire.
With these things in mind, I ask you today: What are your motives? Are you striving for the betterment of everyone, including the offender? Are you willing to approach a situation with your emotions in check if it further advances your cause? More importantly, are you willing to step outside your comfort zone and preemptively have an open dialogue? If you answered “no” to any of these questions, I ask you to reexamine your motives, because you have the potential to do great damage to a cause about which you are obviously passionate.
I will end by saying this: I will never be an African-American woman, a homosexual male or a student who speaks English as a second language, but I most certainly can be friends with these remarkable people. I can ask them about their experiences and what I should know to grow both as a student and as a person who desires an inclusive community. “I believe in respect for the dignity of each person,” even those with opposing views, and I hope that you can examine your motives and say the same.
Sincerely,
Samra Ward
