Dear women,
Hey, “gurl,” hey. I’m skipping my usual serious article and writing about a topic that should be plastered in every dorm, house or any establishment where women – mainly students – get dressed at this university.
“Hotty Toddy,” according to the now-infamous drunk Grove girl video, supposedly represents a “hot” girl with a drink in her hand. As a professional “cocktailian,” I can accurately report there’s nothing hot about an oversized shirt or sweatshirt worn in a dress-like fashion with $9.99 leggings and neon-colored Nikes or Uggs.
Can we get one thing straight? That does not look good. You – yes, you – do not look good wearing this. Yet you’re pretty consistent in this never-ending wardrobe selection. Going to the gym? Great. Going to class or a casual stroll through the Grove? I would hope you have more respect for yourself and others. Coming to the law school? Don’t.
Your typical response: “But, Cory, I’m only going to class.” Where on earth do you think your professional peers see you? What about your professor you should be talking to and getting to know for a recommendation? “But, Cory, I’m too hungover.” So? “But, Cory, I’m only going to get some food.” And?
My colleague and good friend Anna Rush recently wrote an article about men and beards and did it successfully. So I thought, “Hell, if she can accurately comment on men and a voluntary decision to grow a beard, I should be able do the same for women and your inability to properly dress.”
We sometimes talk about crimes of passion in the legal field. There’s a crime committed here, but, unfortunately, it’s not one of passion; it’s just a plain crime against fashion. Hm, what about your higher IQ cited in that video? Oh wait, I forgot – you lied about that. Please, the fashionable among you, start a trend of self-respect. Tell your peers to think of others when looking in the mirror – pants are only one hanger away.
Thanks for reading.
Signed, everyone else.
Cory Ferraez is a third-year law student from Columbus.
