Opinion: What marriage has taught me

Posted on Oct 30 2018 - 5:50am by Reagan Meredith

Almost one year ago at Wyatte Baptist Church, I made a commitment that was much bigger than myself, but I didn’t do it alone.

I had the privilege of marrying the most beautiful, kind, gentle, thoughtful and Christ-like woman I have ever met — my best friend, Natalie Hall, now Natalie (Nat) Meredith.

The almost 11 months following that chilly Saturday morning has caused me to look deep inside myself to find out the kind of man and leader I want me to be to my wife and to my future children.

To this point, I’ve learned that one of the most difficult things in marriage is the fact that I have another person that I must consider in everything I do. Nat has feelings and priorities outside of my own that, as her husband, I must take into account every single day before I do anything.

It is especially a difficult thing to balance considering we’re 20- to 21-year-old college juniors, taking at least 12 hours of classes each.

Among the many challenges this presents is coordinating our class schedules and getting into a convenient routine that benefits the both of us, like scheduling 8 a.m. classes every day so we can carpool together.

A more obvious challenge is making time for each other between classes, studying and work. There are days when few words are spoken and our heads rarely pop up from our books or computers, but there are also days where the homework is light or we choose to set down books for a day and just spend time together.

In either situation however, there’s consistency and a reason to push through those crappy days of little communication. I know that no matter what, at the end of the day, I can look forward to getting in bed with my wife and lose every worry until 5 a.m mornings when my alarm goes off.

Among many other things, being married to Nat has taught me to be less worried about being late, to know the times when I need to swallow my inherently male instinct to fix things and just listen to what she has to say instead. I’ve learned that saying “yes” as many times as I possibly can is my best option and that being the one responsible for her tears is the most gut-wrenching and humbling feeling.

But most importantly, I’ve learned that pride is the enemy of my marriage, and besides its total dependence on God, ownership paired with habitual forgiveness is its strongest ally.

This is not to say that I am the champion of these traits — I certainly am not. However, Natalie is.

There have been more than enough times that I have been insufferable and, to put it lightly, hard to live with, but Nat’s patience, forgiveness, resolve and incomprehensible selflessness has not only made me realize more and more each day that I don’t deserve a person like her, but it’s made me a better person.

This has been the ultimate challenge of my short lifetime. There has been no greater privilege or responsibility than having the trust of my wife to lead her and our future children, but just like any leader, I can’t do it alone.

She has given me the willpower to see the bigger picture when I’m so stressed about life that I can barely see what’s right in front of me. She has forgiven me when I didn’t deserve it.

1 Corinthians 11:9 says, “Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” In other words, man needs woman, and I need Natalie.

Although my pride will contribute to me forgetting again very soon, being married to Nat has shown me that I can’t do this alone. Without God and Nat, I’m nothing.

Reagan Meredith is a junior political science major from Monroe, Louisiana.