The Oscar rundown

Hey, look, it’s Oscar time again. As Hollywood’s big night and one of the only awards shows I can stomach sitting through approaches, many people are wondering who will be taking home a little gold man on Sunday night.
And by “many people are wondering,” I mean, “Many people think it’s pretty obvious,” but still, I shall take this time to add my two cents and predict the winners of the 85th Academy Awards.
Obviously, I’m not going to cover every single category, but I’ll at least hit the high notes. Here goes:
In the Best Supporting Actress category, all signs seem to point to Anne Hathaway for her performance in “Les Misérables,” and you’ll get no argument from me. Not because she’s so great but more because the rest of the nominees aren’t that interesting.
Sally Field could be a spoiler, as the old men of the academy seemed to love her horribly miscast role of Mary Todd Lincoln. To clarify: I love Sally Field, and I loved “Lincoln” — I just don’t think she’s right for the part.
Best Supporting Actor continues to be one of the most interesting categories for me. While other categories tend to yield some pretty boring choices, Best Supporting Actor has been uniformly golden for the past five years or so and often the category where it’s most difficult to pick just one winner.
This year I’d look for Christoph Waltz to take home his second Best Supporting Actor award, and I’d also look for this to be the only award that “Django Unchained” receives.  He’s fantastic and deserves it, but a potential spoiler could be Robert De Niro for “Silver Linings Playbook.”
It’s by far, and, boy, do I mean far, De Niro’s best performance since “Heat,” and it was great to see the De Niro of old instead of the De Niro of “Little Fockers.”
Best Actress comes down to Jennifer Lawrence for “Silver Linings Playbook” or Jessica Chastain for “Zero Dark Thirty.”
Lawrence has been the front-runner so far, picking up the Golden Globe and a plethora of other awards, and I won’t be too upset if she wins here since I loved “Silver Linings Playbook” so much I’d marry it if state law permitted.
However, if I were being completely objective, I’d give the award to Chastain. Her performance really carries “Zero Dark Thirty.”
Both of these ladies will be back in years to come, though, so neither should feel too bad if she doesn’t win.
Your Best Actor is Daniel Day-Lewis. The end.
According to the academy, “Argo” directed itself, as did “Django Unchained” and “Zero Dark Thirty.”
So for me, the Best Director category is a complete joke this year. Look for Steven Spielberg to take this one home for “Lincoln,” though if I had my choice among the nominees, it would go to David O. Russell for “Silver Linings Playbook.”
As for Best Picture, I’ve seen six of the nine nominees, but that’s OK since only three of them stand any chance of winning anyway. It will come down to “Argo,” “Lincoln” and “Silver Linings Playbook.” “Django Unchained” and “Zero Dark Thirty” won’t win for political reasons, and the rest of the nominees are just there to fill out the category.
So of the three, which will win? My money is on “Argo.” It has built up a lot of momentum this awards season, and it happens to also be the actual best picture of last year, so it deserves to win.
I’ll be live-tweeting the Oscars again this year, so if you’re remotely interested in my lame observational humor and old-man complaining, give me a follow @joshuapresley.
Yes, this entire column was just a ploy to get more Twitter followers.